The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

         

This being roughly half way through my first semester of college I feel as if I have some insight to what all the hype is about. For the most part I’ve tried to participate in as much as possible; I pledged a sorority, purchased my student season football tickets (because SEC), made 3 different other organizations, and I am juggling 15 credits of classes. I’ve not only already experienced the exciting parts of college, but I’ve also started to realize the intimidating aspects.

            Starting with the ugly: freshman fifteen is no joke. Now of course I haven’t gained fifteen pounds, but I now understand why gaining weight is constantly on college student’s minds (or should be). We are, I kid you not, provided with an unlimited array of buffet style food. On top of the buffet options we have a food court with fast food options. If the food court just isn’t doing it for you then head on over to the sorority house for dinner, but be sure and stop by the nine frozen yogurt/ice cream shops on the way. I realize that we, the students, had all of these options back at home, but the difference is the accessibility. In high school you would ask your parents for some cash here and there, or you had a crappy minimum wage job (which amounted to the same results as you not even having a job), or your parents paid for everything. I mean, my parents still pay for everything, but the charge goes on a plastic card that bills your student account and we don’t even realize the amount we are spending; nor do we care. Now to get rid of all that extra weight requires exercise. So after all of your classes, homework, community service, and other extra meetings you’re required to attend try and gather enough energy to work out for an hour. In the miniscule amount of time I’ve been here I’ve barely conjured the energy to try and get a good GPA much less try and work on getting a Brazilian butt.

            The Bad: Missing home. I was one of those kids who couldn’t wait to get away from my hometown. I chose a college ten hours away from home, and that has really put things into perspective. I’ve started to realize all of the little things I miss. Mexican food. God, do I miss Mexican food. Breakfast tacos, fajitas, and queso. It’s just not the same out here. Just because your restaurant has “el,” “mi,” or “taco” in it does not mean it’s a Mexican restaurant. I miss my family. I think being away from them is what has hit me hardest. I crave the feeling of comfortableness, the certain smell of my house, not paying for laundry *preach*, and so much more. Every time I’m FaceTiming, calling, or even texting someone from my family I want to cry. I miss being able to tell my mom about things/people and she knew whom I was talking about. I miss my friends and the sense of having people who know you inside and out. I miss inside jokes, girl’s nights out, and just being my true weird self.

            The Good: Of course being ten hours away from everything I grew up with is hard, but I’ve also given myself a chance to create entire new friendships, discover new culture (Texas really isn’t Southern), and find new meaning. In the few weeks that I’ve been in Mississippi it’s been really hard to try and open up and meet new people. For the longest it felt as if no one was interested in being my friend because the girls still had their high school groups here. Even though I was a part of group messages, parties, and activities it still just didn’t feel like I fit in. So where’s the good part in this? For my sorority we received a Bid Day Buddy (an active who hangs out with you on bid day). One thing she said that really stuck with me was, “You’re not the only girl feeling this way.” After that I tried to include myself more, talk to people even when I was afraid, and just be myself and trust that friends will come. I have an amazing opportunity within my sorority to meet so many new girls and create lifelong friendships. It’s the hope and aspect of the bonds I’ll have that keeps me going. Every day I meet new girls that are so amazing, kind, talented, and who I would want to get to know more. The more organizations I become a part of only further the friendships and connections. The good part of college is finding people and being able to find myself within that journey. I’ve grown close to several girls that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

            I know that it has only been a short amount of time and every student here is feeling a little of what I am. I’ve realized college is scary, and growing up is scary, but it’s more than that; it’s amazing. I’ve always tried to live by the quote, “Want it more than you fear it.” I want best friendships, memories, and laughter more than how afraid I am to approach a girl or try and reach out. Hopefully within this semester everything will work out and I can trust that life falls into place. But what is the most amazing aspect of college? The university that I chose to attend. Not only are the people amazing, the atmosphere is welcoming, the tea is sweeter, the drawls longer, but also our football team is now #1 in the nation. It’s not just the fact that our team is 6-0, but the support behind it. When our hands blister, we still ring our cowbells. When we are being drenched in rain and it’s not even half time, we don’t leave the stadium. When the game is over and we’re exhausted, we ring our cowbells all the way to the alma mater. I chose a college that cares about tradition, our school spirit, and each other, and I wouldn’t change my decision for any other school in the world. That to me is worth everything. 

#LikeAGirl

Recently, I have been coming across ad campaigns, hasthags, and other social media avenues that are advocating feminism. At first I would scroll past them, act as if I understood the message of feminism, and continue on with my day.
Let me tell you how wrong I was; thinking that I understood our world.
I am in no way an expert of the issues, catastrophes, or movements happening around me. I just wanted to share my simple thoughts on a complex topic.

There are several campaigns running right now that I have to get behind. 

LikeAGirl

There was a commercial I came across, sponsored by Always, that completely rocked my world. The video demonstrates that we see the term, "Like a girl", as a derogatory term. By the end of the video I had tears in my eyes thinking about how low not only other people, but myself included, think of women. Of course, when I think of someone doing something "like a girl" I am not consciously thinking that it's belittling to women; but that is the entire issue right there. We are unconsciously degrading ourselves and others.

YesAllWomen

I have recently posted about this trending hashtag, but I have to be redundant regarding this because it's just so powerful. Now, this hashtag has gotten confused regarding it's meaning. I was reading comments posted by butt hurt men about how us women are saying "all guys treat women this way", "every single guy is the problem". The irony of their comments is that the hashtag is trying to communicate the complete opposite. Women are not saying that every single guy is a douche bag. If every single guy was that awful we would've given up by now. The point is that every single woman has in some way been sexually harassed, threatened, scared, or physically mistreated. Every. Single. Woman. It is completely mind blowing to think about.
http://time.com/114043/yesallwomen-hashtag-santa-barbara-shooting/

ShineStrong

 Pantene advertised two different videos. One video is publicizing that women continuously feel like we have to apologize for everything. And I completely agree. Sorry, not sorry. 

The latter video is demonstrating the differences between men and women when it comes to labels. I think the main place that women are judged differently is the work place. If a man tries to push things along, wants to get the job done fast, and doesn't chit chat he is seen as a leader. When a woman pushes things along, tries to get the job done, and doesn't chit chat you know what she is? A bitch. I speak from personal experience. 

The craziest thing is that there are women out there who claim to be "anti-feminist". I kid you not. So I think there is just a genuine misconception of what feminism is. I understand that everyone has different concepts of terms and movements. But I happen to believe that being a "feminist" is believing in the idea that women are people. It's not about being better than men, or putting men down, or playing victim, it's about being equal. Equality for all.

A Tribute to the King of Sass

If you haven't read any of Oscar Wilde's pieces you are missing out on quite possibly one of the quirkiest, punniest, and sassiest authors out there. Please, just do me, and yourself, a favor and go read The Importance of Being Earnest. Right now. Click It. READ IT. Or be lazy and just read this.

Oscar Wilde was born in Dublin. He lived during the Victorian Era. His parents were both very well known and very well off. The young adult Oscar was quite the celebrity. He was a part of the Aesthetic Movement which obviously resulted in his long luscious hair. Oscar did have a nice flow, if we're being honest. He married a woman named Constance, but he played for the other team; if you know what I mean. But being a Queen back then was slightly looked down upon, and he was sentenced to two years of hard labor due to his homosexual relations. Once he was released he just commenced the fabulous-ness in Paris and continued being perfect up to the end of his days when he died of meningitis. But even his last words were infused with his dramatic flare.

Saying, "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do".
It's true that he might not be studied as much as other renowned authors, and he only has one novel, but the irony and humor infused into each story is incomparable.
Also, some of the greatest quotes have come from his witty brain. I'm sure everyone has heard the saying, "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken", but his greatness goes beyond the cliche sayings he's known for. Mr. Wilde stood for individualism. Naturally, he was a celebrity for his wealth and writings, but as soon as society learned who he was on a deeper level the people who once idolized him began to ostracize him. Did he care that everyone laughed at his huge fur coats or frilly ways of dressing? Nope. He actually thrived from it. I also need to throw out there that he said, "Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping." If that sentence right there doesn't make you want to grab a magazine and Caramel Macchiato with him then I can't help you.

 I guess the main reason I am so drawn to Mr. Wilde is his ability to defend what he loves. He loved art, literature, beautiful furniture, elaborate clothes, and men. Oscar Wilde is my spirit animal.I also adore how he loves himself. Even though he was continuously told he wasn't accepted, Oscar kept writing, kept creating, and kept loving. I think it takes true character to just be who you are; unforgivably.
He's just a funny guy, and if you have any free time, and wits about you, please dive into some of his plays and poems.

The Perfect Man

I was recently asked what “the perfect guy” meant to me. What qualities would my dream guy have? What do I look for in a guy?

But I think the key word here is “guy”. I’m not looking for a guy; I’m looking for a man.

I’ve dealt with all kinds of guys; the jerk, the clinger, the cocky one. I’m just over it. I know it goes both way, like we can’t expect a guy to be a gentleman while we don’t act like ladies, but I’ve crossed that line of understanding what I’m worth and what I deserve. I’ve also dealt with enough boys to realize that I am past putting up with their childish ways. If you want me to be a part of your life then you have to make an effort. If a man isn’t ready for that then just don’t waste my time?

I do know that all I really want in a man is loyalty, friendship, adventure, and laughter.

I’m not asking for my life to be a Nicolas Sparks book, I realize that movies have given girls an unrealistic expectation for relationships, but it’s not hard to just be a nice person. And if you’re not ready to be kind and honest then just go be a douche bag somewhere else,  because if a man isn’t ready to be committed to a woman…then he shouldn't commit to a woman.

The perfect man to me is someone who cares. He cares about his family, or when he sees someone in pain, he cares about my feelings, and he cares about his own. The perfect guy likes to laugh until his stomach hurts. He likes coffee. He definitely likes to bring me coffee. He enjoys new ideas, new moments, and new adventures. But he also cherishes the inside jokes and routine date nights. The perfect guy is a thinker; he’s not bottled up in his own world. He pays attention to what I say, but most importantly he is interested. The perfect guy is honest. He doesn’t have to promise you the moon because when you’re with him he illuminates the darkness around you. He will never cheat on you physically or emotionally. The perfect guy makes you feel safe.

But the truth is; love is hard. The better you know someone the more flaws you are going to discover. That’s why the longer a relationships lasts, whether it be your child, husband, girlfriend, the harder it is to maintain what you felt in the beginning. You start to see their flaws; they don’t text you back for hours on end, or they interrupt you mid-sentence, but I think love is seeing all of these things and not jumping ship. It’s seeing someone’s darkness and creating light. But the terrible thing is, we build up this suit of armor to hide ourselves, all of our flaws, emotions, and then one stupid person has the ability to tear it all down and you’re left exposed. And while you’re exposed they gain the chance to either rip you apart or love you for what they see.

For the longest time I felt like I had to have another person to feel complete. I relied on my boyfriend to make me happy. I lost sight of the things I loved to do for me. It has taken me a very long time, too long in fact, to realize that I don’t need someone else. The only person who can make me truly happy is me. Loving a guy who ended up not loving me catalyzed into me loving myself. I loved him with everything inside of me, but I can’t force someone to feel the same way about me, and I shouldn’t have to. Don’t get me wrong; you don’t NEED someone else, but having someone who is there to hug you when you’re sad, be silly with, or just be utterly yourself is the best thing in the world to experience.

I guess the reason I’m writing this piece is to tell everyone that you’re more incredible than you realize. Your worth is not determined by how some asshole treated you. Everyone forgets how beautiful they are. I promise there is someone out there who will see your face and think beams of gold shine out of it. Someone is going to think you are the most amazing, perfect, and unbelievable person they have ever met. Just think about how much you loved the wrong person, and then try to realize how much more you’ll be able to love the right one. I’ve spent too many nights wondering why I wasn’t good enough for him to call me back, why I wasn’t pretty enough to be the only girl he noticed, why I wasn’t funny enough for him to laugh at my jokes. If you feel like that while dating a guy, it’s not that you aren’t good enough; he’s just not the right man for you. It took me a long time to figure out that all of those thoughts that haunted me were pure crap.

I didn’t believe in love. Maybe I was just too scared, or I had too many bad experiences, but I laughed at marriage or having a soul-mate. And then one person came along and had the most didactic way about him regarding love. Love is real. It may be different for everyone. People show love in the craziest of ways, simple gestures, grand gestures, maybe no gestures. But it’s always there.

There are so may kisses, laughs, late night coffee trips, new restaurants, rainy days, books to read, and smiles to crack.

There’s just so much life to live.

Please just try to realize that life goes on. My world stopped when I lost the guy I was in love with. Every single day I miss going to our favorite restaurant, singing our duets in the car, trying new flavors of cupcakes, and just having a best friend. Right now I’m feeling everything and nothing all at once. You can love a person, but at the same time all you want is to hate them. But all I can tell myself is there is so much more to experience. 

Life has so much to offer; it’s like this giant lemon, mostly sour, sometimes sweet, but we need to squeeze every freaking drop out of it. Just take the time to breath, explore, and love yourself.

It's the Little Things

Little moments that are completely underrated:

1. The smell of brewing coffee

2. When a song finishes at the exact time you pull into the driveway

3. Making someone laugh

4. Lying in bed after taking a shower

5. When you see your waiter bringing the food

6. Having a warm towel wrapped around you after getting out of the shower

7. Long hugs

8. Staying home on a rainy day

9. Finishing a great book

10. When someone looks at you and smiles simply because you're smiling 

11. The sound of a basketball swishing perfectly through the net

12. Wearing new clothes

13. Holding hands

14. Finding money you forgot about

15. Nailing all the words to a rap song

16. The smell of the beach

17. Warm paper fresh out of the copy machine

18. Sitting next to someone on a plane that doesn't want to talk

19. Back scratches

20. Keyboards that "click" perfectly under your fingers

21. When someone spells your name right

22. Waking up early but feeling like you had enough sleep

23. Jumping into a swimming pool when it's 100 degrees out

24. Listening to the perfect song with your windows down

25. Long conversations late at night

26. Waking up and realizing you have several more hours to sleep

27. Eating the cherry from your sundae

28. When someone gives you the cherry from their sundae

29. Sitting on a patio with no sense of time

30. Realizing things will be okay

31. Having a full tank of gas

32. The seat in front of you being unoccupied at functions

33. Realizing it's Happy Hour at Sonic

34. Free WIFI

35. When you've had water stuck in your ear all day and it finally trickles out and creates a warm sensation

36. When the person in front of you in the drive through pays for your Starbucks

37. Every stop light is green that you go through
38. A kiss in the rain

It really is the little things that mean the most. When we look back, the little things were really the big things all along.

What I've Learned from Taking a Year Off

This past year I took some time off from attending college. Throughout the year I would see pictures of my friends at school functions and be jealous that I wasn’t in their positions. The year seemed to drag on forever, but now that I’m moving into my dorm in less than 60 days the year feels like it flew by. Whenever I would talk to my friends about my life and what I was up to they would always respond, “That is so cool!” and I was baffled by how many kids think working an “adult” job is cool. But then I realized I used to be that kid. When you’re younger the idea of having a job, no curfew, your own place, and no one to tell you what to do seems like the best thing that could happen to you. Once I was finally in that position I realized how much it sucks. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very nice to be able to do what I want, but I think I would trade that for a home cooked meal by my mom any day. So for those of you that haven’t experienced living on your own or paying bills; here’s some advice:

 

1.       Being an Adult is Awful

I wake up every morning and go to a 9 am to 5 pm job. I go home, cook, clean, shower, and sleep. Then I repeat the process. Of course I have the ability to go places and do new activities. But I don’t. I was stuck in the same routine. What we don’t realize while we are young is that even though we may have the freedom to do whatever we want as adults, we don’t. Responsibilities get in the way. Bills get in the way. Life gets in the way. Also, you’ll finally have money and feel all fresh and cool, but do you get to buy new clothes? No, you have to spend it on new tires, a vacuum, or groceries. My advice is to never grow up. Of course, it’s inevitable that we all have to mature and have these responsibilities, but all I’m telling you is that there really isn't anything glamorous about it. Even though I’m grateful for a job, it’s helped me realize what I don’t want to do for the rest of my life. So savor those home cooked meals, free WIFI, all inclusive housing plans, and care free attitudes.

 

2.       Love isn’t Easy

I've learned that really nothing comes easily in life. You have to work for it. Being in a relationship with someone for a long amount of time taught me so many things about myself. I definitely learned the bad; I am jealous, I send too many texts, I’m insecure, and I don’t smile enough. But I also learned some really great things about myself; I like to make people laugh, I have a kind heart, and I’m worth it. I learned that even if you truly love someone, you can’t change them.  But not only that, you shouldn't want to change them. No matter whom you’re dating they are going to do many annoying, maddening, things, but you have to learn to see the good instead of the bad. My boyfriend happened to be a terrible communicator and that really festered inside of me for a long time, but then I realized I can’t just focus on the bad, so I started to see how smart he is instead. When he did communicate it was always bright and interesting thoughts. So my advice on love is to try to see the good in the other person. The work you put into a relationship will show.

 

3.       Family is Important

No matter how ready you are to fly from the nest I promise you will miss your family. I haven’t even moved out yet and I miss them. There are important reasons to miss them, like you've known them your whole life and they’re obligated to be there for you. But I think the times I will miss them most are because of the little moments. I’ll miss the smell of pumpkin in the fall, making goofy faces for the camera, watching Grey’s Anatomy with my mom, having someone ask, “What did you learn at school today?”, Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, breakfast for dinner, baking chocolate chip cookies 24/7, and so much more. So just try to realize how great your family is. We’re growing older, but so are our parents. And even though I’m ready for a new adventure; I wish I had just a little more time with them.

 

4.      Don’t Underestimate a Home-cooked Meal

I've stated this in the above paragraphs, but this shows you how serious I am about it. Jack in the Box’s tacos is not real food. I’m pretty sure it’s dog food slapped onto a folded greasy chip.  When all you have in your fridge is ketchup and cheese you’ll be missing those vegetables you refused to eat as a child.

 

5.       Things never go how you expect them to

No matter how planned out your budget is, or how detailed of a grocery list things will not go how you expect them to. Life throws you curves and it will always be that way.  

 

6.       Adults are just as immature as we are

Working with adults who are all 35+ I figured there wouldn't be any drama, rumors, or cliques. Wrong. Drama never ends. So if you’re thinking that after high school you won’t have to deal with that snotty girl; you’re wrong. The only thing we can do is try to be more mature than them. I know it’s hard. But try.

 

7.      Adults are still figuring it out too

Being Key Club President I attended monthly Kiwanis meetings (old people who like to serve the community). I was asked to stand up, introduce myself, and say what I interested in career wise. I was 17, how would I know? So I said just that, “I don’t know what I want to be”. After the meeting a gentleman came up to me and said, “Don’t worry honey, I’m 65 and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up”. I’ll never forget him saying that to me. So whenever you get scared just picture the ominous old man with his philosophical words and feel a little better.

 

 

I realize this list isn't very inspirational, and you probably are googling “Never Land” right now, but it isn't all bad. I promise we are all going to be okay. Even though the bills, deadlines, and jobs might sucks it’s still what you make of it. And the people who are by your side make it every bit worth it.

I think maybe my blog has been just a little too positive lately, and if you know me at all that's just not who I am. Here's a rant about my top 10 pet peeves in no particular order.

1. Grammar

This annoyance ranges from incorrect forms of "your" to the abbreviations people use. I'm not really sure what is being taught in elementary schools anymore but I promise it is not grammar. I don't want to say, "Every single thing" I read is grammatically incorrect but it's pretty close. I'm just genuinely confused why it's hard to remember that "you're" stands for "you are"? Why is "their", "there", and "they're" so confusing? Also, it's "before" not "B4"; we speak English not bingo.







2. Slow Walkers

Maybe you genuinely enjoy walking 1 mph across the street while noticing the lovely pavement, but I promise the 30 cars piled up needing to get somewhere don't appreciate it. Could you maybe just go walk slowly in your driveway? Same effect, I think. 

3. Toilet Paper

Just put the toilet paper into the holder the correct way. I mean it's the little things in life. Just do it. And if you aren't going to take the time to put it in the holder the correct way then at least place it on top facing the toilet user. THANKS.

4.Talking over my music

Ultimately, I just want someone who knows what songs to not talk over. I really like this Adele mashup, okay? 

5. Being constantly on your phone

I get it, we live in a technology run world. I am victim to being on my phone, but there's a line. Just try to have a conversation with me, please. I'm kind of interesting, I promise.

6. Playing dumb

"Like I literally can't even". I've never really understood why some people would want to diminish their intelligence for any reason. I've never met a guy who said, "It's so hot to be stupid". So I just don't get it? Maybe it's the innocence act, or the whole giggling thing, but you should probably stop.

7. Guys

Okay, you're not all that bad. Just put the toilet seat down please.

8. People who know everything

Just let me finish my sentence. Everyone has opinions, but geez, can I just complete a sentence before you cut me off? Also, you may know quite a bit, but you don't know everything. I have just as much knowledge to share as you do, sir. (I refer to a man because that is most commonly the case). 

9. Talking during a movie

Look, I've seen just as much of this movie as you have. And if you don't get it by now, you never will. Just jot down your notes and we can talk after, okay? And don't touch me. 

10. Bad drivers

Actually, just drivers in general. If you've ever ridden in the car with me you're familiar with my, "What are you doing?" expression. Also the, "uhhh okay?" is pretty popular. Sometimes I just don't get the world. I really do try, but there are people who I just don't know how to deal with emotionally. I guess they truly think they're the only ones driving? No one else is around them:? Why did you pull out in front of me and there iS NO ONE BEHIND ME. 

Why can't I be as thin as my patience?